It's been two years since last I wrote...since last I lived in Arcata...and since this photo was taken...
Life has changed, and so it must. I moved to LA to leave the life of "fun" that was leading me away from my goals in life. I have hit some bumps along the way. To say it was easy would be ridiculous, but to say it wasn't necessary would make my denial even more apparent. Some how I found my way back to my passion in the hot desert that we all call Los Angeles.
LA frustrates me and at times makes me "mad as hell" but the new year has brought a sense of new found love for the city of angels. After attempting to move for the fifth (or so) time, I have choose to accept my placement here and to look at the positive. I have found that most of my frustration lies with the simplicity of differences. By this I mean the age old rivalry that is less express then the popular west coast/east coast feud . That is the difference between Northern Californians and Southern Californians. Yes, California is not one collective state. Those that dwell in the bay area, where I spent many years, are completely different from the Arcadians (Humboldt County folk) that I had became long time friends with. And that's just the Northern part of Cali, SoCal is a completely different beast! Perhaps the greatest thing about California is that it is so different everywhere you go. However, this causes problems when moving from one extreme to the other. This being NorCal (past SF, for those of you who think Cali stops at the bay) to SoCal (that is LA county, not San Diego). The difference between the two may be the cause of all this frustration.
I was spoiled in Arcata, a place that prides themselves in the virtue of friendliness, non-conformity, vegan affordability and unpopulated beauty. And although I felt that LA represented the exact opposite of my past home, I have come to find these difference are what makes LA the great place that it is. The limited things that I complained about in Arcata (more shows, dance clubs, people, opportunities, MOTIVATION!) are those things that are plentiful here in LA. And although I will always miss my little town of Hippies, I realize that perhaps there is a place for me here and dare I say, a purpose.
So, what does this mean, if you are a traveling Californian, trying to find a steady footing everywhere you step? Well, for me, it means to stay true to yourself, which is always the answer, but even more then this, it is staying true to the places you've been, the experiences you've had and the people you've met. Take these experiences with you to not set standards or compare, but to add to the experiences to come. Without it you can not survive, here or anywhere. And beyond surviving, you can not grow, learn or be happy.
After two years I have accomplished a lot! I stopped doing drugs, I got back into school, I got back into making movies and writing, I fell in love, and I'm happy. And in a way, I have LA to thank for that. An unlikely place to sober up and find happiness, but some how, for me, it happened. Who knows how long I'll be here or where I'll end up but I am letting go of a comfortable past that may have kept me away from the life I really wanted to live. Now if I can only convince my body that LA weather is not too hot...
-Tazer
